Bullies and Bulllying

I am saying that you don't have to teach a two year old to hit, they just do it as a reaction to anger since birth. People lash out sometimes and bullying could be one way. It's not an excuse and it's not a justification. Bullying is wrong and cruel, but I still insist that strong friendships help ward off the effects of harsh bullies.

I agree that friedship can ward of the effects of bullying.  But some people are bullies in order to hang on to friendships.  To avoid being alone, I've seen people do and say things they know are wrong and which actually make them feel bad, but  being a part of bullying will guarantee they have friends to sit with at lunch, in the teacher's lounge or the cafeteria.   I know that is not the kind of friendship you are talking about, but the fact is that one of the reasons certain people are chosen as targets is precisley because they dont' have any friends.  If they had friends, they wouldn't be bullied. So maybe our aim should be to encourage friendship and teach non-aggressive interpersonal relationships.  I don't agree that a two year old child will hit instinctivley, or that it is a "reaction since birth."  Even if  some people are born to be agressive,  a two year old who hits has not been taught that hitting is wrong and if they don't know that by the time they are two, you need to teach them immediately.   People don't always lash out in anger, only people who have not been taught alternatives.

But can we really stop bullying from happening altogether?

Of course we can't stop it happeing all together, but as teachers, I think we have to try to stop bullies from bullying by either  helping them with their problems or removing them from the class.  If befriending a student who is a victim will help the student to not feel the pain of bullying, then befriend them.  The one thing we cannot do is turn a blind eye and say, "There's nothing I can do about it.  It's just the way it's always been and we can't stop it."   A child was badly beaten in our school library when there were no staff members around(another big problem) He was in 7th grade and wore his hair long.  Lots of boys wore their hair long.  He wore black fingernail polish.  None of the other boys wore nail polish.  They thought he was gay and deserved to be beaten. He was in and out of school for the next 4 years and never graduated and even though he had many close friends who were girls, boys never spoke to him, only about him.  The part of this story that makes me angry is what I heard the principal say in the teacher's lounge after the incident.  "If he didn't want to get beat up, he shouldn't have dressed like a girl and worn nail polish."   We definitely can't stop bullying  from happeining in our schools as long as it continues to happen in society at large, but we cannot use that as a reason to not do everything we can to stop it or mitigate its effects.